Weight Loss Surgery

This past February, I had gastric bypass surgery. Most of you probably know that (and by "most", I mean all 5 people who regularly read my blog!), and for those of you who didn't, well, now you do. I had not really blogged about the weight loss surgery experience, and thought I would share some today.

First, if you wonder what gastric bypass really is, it basically means my stomach is now significantly physically smaller and my intestines have been rearranged in some fascinating way that I am unable to articulate fully. It was a pretty intense surgery and a drastic step to take--not something one does on a whim. I was required to be on a 6-month doctor-supervised diet and exercise program before I could even submit my claim for insurance approval (a requirement of the insurance company)...and the hospital will not schedule your surgery until you are officially approved by insurance (or until you personally pay them tens of thousands of dollars). The diet was about as successful as the many others I have tried. I did lose 20 lbs. in 6 months...which is still progress, but not great progress. Consequently, when a lovely older lady from my church says to me (on more than one occasion, after I've already had the surgery): "I know several people who have done really well with Weight Watchers", it makes me want to scream: "If a diet had worked for me, including Weight Watchers the three times I tried it, I wouldn't have risked my life to have my innards rearranged". I don't say it, but I think it.

I have been on a diet since I was 7 years old (that means 2nd grade, my friends) and what I have learned from those years of experience: diets don't really work, not for long-term results. Only life-style change really works. I heard this surgery described as "forced behavior modification", and I think that is a good description. You still have to do your part in the process (and let me tell you, it is not easy), but the surgery is a helpful "tool" (that's what all the doctors call it, because it is something you have to work with and use, not an instant cure).

I went today for a 3-month check-up. The Cleveland Clinic (where I had my surgery) has these things called "SMAs", which I think means "shared medical appointments". A bunch of us in similar stages meet together with the doctor. She discusses our cases individually, in front of everyone else...the theory behind this is that, because we are in similar situations, we may learn something from her interaction/discussion/teaching with each of us. I guess that was true, in part...but it was also a long two-hours. One thing I learned was that, of all nine people there today, I had lost the most weight so far. Yes, I was the biggest loser! I was expecting balloons to drop and someone to hand me a big check (like on the show, which I've never watched, but I hear they get big bucks at the end). That didn't happen, but they did all clap, which was nice. I have lost 62 lbs in a little over 3 months, and over 80 lbs. since I started the process of surgery preparation last August. I have further to go, but am really happy with my progress so far.

I spent some time talking with a couple ladies from the SMA. One of them told me she was very secretive about her weight loss, that most people from her work did not know she'd had surgery. I guess she had some bad responses from people when she told them about the surgery. I had some bad responses too, but so many more positive ones that I kinda blocked out the bad stuff. I felt badly for this woman, that she felt the need to hide her surgery. It also made me angry that people are so rude. I mean, seriously, the choices I make for my own health, my own life, my own body are my choices to make. It doesn't mean others shouldn't have opinions, but it does mean they should withhold judgment, especially if they have not walked in your body or lived your life. I tell everyone who asks about my weight loss that I have had surgery. If they decide to judge me for it, I figure that is more about them than it is about me. I made a choice that has literally saved my life, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

For me, this has been one of the best experiences of my life. I would gladly talk to anyone about it. It has given me control over an area of my life that has controlled me for as long as I can remember. I feel like I can finally overcome my weight issues...not without work and discipline, of course, but feel--for the first time--that it is very possible to have continued victory in this area of my life. I have never had that hope before. It makes me feel that anything in life, in any area of my life, is possible. It makes me want to try new things, to live more fully, to be bold and daring, to really be alive. (Again, let me say how much I love this surgery!) It has changed me from the inside out. I am not sure if the surgeon did something in my brain after he was done messing around in my abdomen, but I think differently about things now: food, exercise, life, myself. I LOVE IT! For example, I had an appointment with the nutritionist after the SMA, but had a little over an hour to kill in between. I had a book with me (because I never go anywhere without a book) and was planning on just reading to pass the time. However, I thought, "Maybe I should go take a walk. This place is huge and there is a lot to see." So, I went on a brisk walk for 45 minutes (and barely saw a fraction of THE CLEVELAND CLINIC). At any other point in my life, when given the choice between a sedentary activity and a physical one, I would always choose the sedentary option. But now I like to move, to breath, to live...an amazing change. I also want to be out more, to do things, to spend time with people. Before, I was so tired and felt so gross about myself that I would just hide out at home whenever I wasn't working or didn't have a social engagement that I could not get out of...now I am constantly on the look out for the next party, the next person to talk to, the next social activity. I like being out and doing things. I think, in fact, that I finally like me...not just because I have lost weight, but because I am becoming a better version of myself in every aspect of my life. This surgery is the best choice I ever made.