Personality Tests

I spent last night taking three personality tests: aproximately 1,100 questions about who I am and what I think. The tests are a required part of a Doctorate of Ministry (DMin) program that I am applying for; the DMin would require me to do work all year long, but only be in "residency" a couple times a year, for about 10 days each time. Essentially, it would count as my continuing education requirement for the next 3 years, when I emerge with, hopefully, a degree (and some valuable ministry-applicable ideas). The personality tests are, I guess, designed to make sure I am not crazy. While I am convinced most people have their own unique brand of crazy, they seem to be checking that I'm not certifiable.

One of the tests had multiple choice questions. The other two made statements and you were supposed to answer whether that statement was true for you or false for you. I had my five #2 pencils (and, today, a sore thumb from using them), filling in bubbles. It brought back awful SAT flashbacks! However, the questions were much easier, or so you would think. On a personality test, I should (at least in theory) know all the answers, better than anyone else. My problem, as I discovered last night, is that I think way too much about most things. I overthink, which is not a helpful characteristic on tests like these.

Some of the questions were straightforward. "I like science". True or False. I guess I have no problems with science; it does a lot of good in the world. I like to watch "Myth Busters", which is kind of about science. True. "I love my mother". True or False. If you say "no" to this question, I am certain that red flags and lots of bells and whistles go off in the grader's head. Who would say she doesn't love her mother on a personality test? Of course I love my mother. True. "Sometimes parts of my body become numb or tingly". True of False. (I'm not making this up, friends!). Do they mean after I sit too long taking stupid personality tests or just randomly? Numbness does not seem to be a pressing problem in my life. False. "I hear voices telling me what to do". True or False. A loaded question, if you are a pastor. Everyone has an opinion about what I should or should not do (don't mean that in a bitter way, just stating the truth). However, I am assuming that "voices" mean people that others cannot hear. Even if I did hear voices, I would not say so on a test I'm taking to figure out if I should be institutionalized or not (have no fear, I am voiceless...for now). False.

Every once in a while, a question would come up that would just stump me completely...again, it is the over-thinking problem that I have. The most difficult one for me: "I am satisfied with my sex life". True or False. I am a single pastor applying for a Doctorate of Ministry program. How do you answer that? I mean, I am completely committed to celibacy outside of the context of marriage, but that doesn't mean I like it! I just like God more than anything else and want to be faithful to what God says I should and should not do. So, no marriage=no sex. The question was whether or not I am satisfied with my sex life. There was no "does not apply" option available. Either way I answer that, it seems like a loaded question. After much internal dialogue, I answered False...because my preference would be to be married and to actually have a sex life. It is a good thing they don't give extra space for comments on your answers. They would know a whole lot more about me than they want to know...because in addition to thinking too much, I also like to clarify things completely, sometimes to a fault (like when you are taking tests with strange questions and cannot stand the inability to fully explain your answers).

Here's hoping that I "pass" the personality tests!