Airplanes

I flew home from Dallas/Ft. Worth tonight, in what looked like a pretty large airplane. For such a large plane, you would think the seat space would be roomier. I guess the actual seat is OK, but the leg room???? I am 6 feet tall. On an airplane, I become an instant sardine. Seriously, who can sit in those seats and be comfortable? Midgets? (I know it is not politically correct to say "midgets", but I am tired from being squished on an airplane and have lost all sense of propriety...plus I just like that word: midgets...say it to yourself a few times; it's a great word).

Those experienced fliers among you will tell me that I should sit in the emergency exit row and thus have more leg room. The problem with that idea is that every tall person in the world has the same plan. It would be easier to win the lottery than get one of those seats. To make matters worse, short people steal those seats. Seriously, people who don't have to ride for hours with their knees in their nose take the only seats on the plane where you can actually stretch out your legs. I know that Jesus loves these short people, but I want to steal their puke bags and pray for turbulence.

Not only is there no leg room on the plane, some braniac (probably a short person) decided to make seats that recline. So, picture a really tall person with her knees jammed into the seat in front of her when, suddenly, the man in front appears in her lap. I'm not exaggerating. I could have rested my complimentary beverage on his head.

Tonight's ride, however, was not the most uncomfortable of my life. That award would go to a 4-hour flight from Frankfurt to Moscow...where I had the window seat, in a row filled with people all well over 6 feet tall. I don't think any of the three of us in that row could move the smallest muscle for the entire flight. It sucked raw eggs. Comparatively speaking, tonight wasn't so bad.

I am forever in awe of how many miles one can travel in a matter of hours via a plane. Though they may be uncomfortable, I am grateful for them...and grateful to be home. There is no place like home (corny but true).