What matters is that you are here now...

A confession: I have not been to the dentist in 6 or 7 years...that is, until today. Since this is the year of getting healthy for me, I decided it was time to take care of my teeth. Truly, I am obsessed with brushing my teeth, but not the greatest flosser. Ok, I don't even own floss (but bought some tonight...a landmark event).

I found a dentist nearby and think he is fabulous, as well as all his employees. It was as great an experience as going to the dentist can be! The odd thing to me: the dentist is younger than me, by about 3 years. This seems like a major life transition, when people in positions of authority, who used to be older, are suddenly younger than you. It takes a while for age to catch up, because those kinds of professions require a lot of school...meaning you are almost in your 30s before you begin your real job (it's true for pastors, as well). I know that is not an earth shatteringly monumental experience, but it seemed strange...like a rite of passage or something (the "when did I get old enough to have a dentist younger than me" rite).

Since I had a bunch of cavities when I was younger and am now significantly older, it is time for filling replacements in several teeth. I guess those old silver fillings aren't holding up so well after 20 some years: cracking, breaking, pulling away from the teeth...a variety of things that sound really unpleasant. So, I need two crowns and three new fillings (replacements)...but no root canals (which makes me dance with joy) and no new cavities. The cost for this all-terrain mouth adventure is close to $2500. In fact, I can only do half of it right now because I can't afford the other half. I guess, if you divide that cost by the number of years it's been since I went to the dentist, it is not such a bad annual cost. However, in one big chunk, it seems pretty pricey. But someday, in the nursing home, when I can chew my food with my own teeth, it will be worth it.

The thing that has made me reflect today was the way I was treated by the dentist and his staff. I expected, after such a long hiatus from dentistry, to be yelled at, lectured, made to feel myriad varieties of guilt, etc. That is not what happened, though. I was asked by the receptionist, the hygienist, and the dentist how long it had been since I was at the dentist. I told the truth (I can't lie when asked a specific question; it is physically impossible for me...but the sin of omission, of that I am the master! Ask my mom). I expected shock and awe. Instead, they each asked me if something had happened to keep me from coming back to the dentist. No. It was pretty much a combination of no dental insurance, lack of money, and then so much time had passed that I felt guilty. As of January, I suddenly have dental insurance (very minimal; it pays for x-rays and cleanings, but none of the major work I need done)...so, I decided it was time to venture back. Each person that asked me about my lengthy dental absence responded to me by saying, "Well, what's important is that you are here now".

That, to me, is the essence of grace...not making people feel like doo-doo when they mess up. You still acknowledge what has happened, but then celebrate what is happening in the moment. That response makes me want to go back to the dentist. Had I been reprimanded, I would not be so quick to schedule my next appointment. That is probably a truth we could apply to most life situations. People mess up. People disappoint us. People fail to be what they promise to be. They don't do the things they should do. Sometimes, because they feel badly about it, people don't come back to doing what they should because of shame. And, unfortunately, many times, we just add to the shame that others have because we don't respond with grace...grace that says, "You know what, none of us is perfect, what matters is that you are here now". I want to be the "what matters is that you are here now" person in someone's life.

I pray that we can all do that for others...to give second chances, offer encouragement instead of reproach, and new starts instead of rehashing the past. Let's overwhelm the world with grace. I experienced that today, and it makes all the difference.