4 Things I'm Pretty Sure I Think

It has been a busy week and many thoughts are spinning through my head. So, tonight, I think I will steal from my friend, Bryan Bucher, and do a list of things I am thinking. He has a recurring blog called "10 Things I Think I Think". Tonight, I can only come up with 4 things that I am pretty sure I think...so here they are...

Four Things I'm Pretty Sure I Think
1) Speaking of my friend Bryan Bucher (check out the link to his blog on the left, though he has become a blogging slacker as of late): Bryan stayed at a house right across the street from Hoover auditorium (where we have our main sessions at Annual Conference). Every time I walked by, he was sitting on the front porch of his house, listening to what was happening across the street. I don't think he ever set foot inside the auditorium, yet still managed to know all the goings on. That, to me, is the epitome of coolness. I, on the other hand, felt the need to make sure the bishop and my district superintendent saw my face at least one time...not that either of them know who I am, but just in case. This is probably a characteristic that the cool do not share--the need to be seen or to impress. There are some people who simply ooze "cool" (like Bucher), a lack of need to impress, a security in who one is regardless of what others think. I want that kind of abandon of convention--the freedom to just be who you are, as you are. I ooze "sweet" but am only in training for cool...

2) The other night, I woke up in horrible pain...felt like someone was stabbing me in the face (literally). The pain was right round the area where I had my temporary crown put in less than a week ago. I was awake most of the night, popping Tylenol like an addict. Eventually the drugs kicked in, but I slept through the morning session because I felt so bad and, apparently, missed one of the best worship services in the history of the world. Such is my lot in life. I called my dentist. He called in a prescription for an anti-biotic to a pharmacy near Lakeside. Unfortunately, it looks like I'm going to need a root canal. I don't even know what that is, but it sounds horrible. If it makes my face stop throbbing, though, I guess it will be worth it.

3) The pastor who spoke this morning (and the previous morning, at the service I missed) was incredible...one of the best speakers I've heard. He was passionate, intense, convicting, real, and raw...a great combination. He was talking about the waters of Bethesda and the man that Jesus healed (as the man was waiting for the waters to stir). Jesus told him to "take up your mat and walk". The preacher (Rudy Rasmus) threw himself on the ground, right up there on stage, and pretended to inch toward the water. His point was that we should do anything we can to get ourselves toward the healing that Jesus provides, rather than being victims of our own pain or predicaments. I pictured myself doing that in my church and wondered how many people might have a heart attack if I full-body scooted across the chancel area. More seriously, I thought about how much more passionate I could be in my preaching, in my life...how much more energy and substance I could put into what I say and who I am. I felt very convicted, and inspired.

4) The main impression annual conference has left on me this year has to do with my own spiritual life. Being here, listening to sermons, reconnecting with friends, walking by the lake, laying awake in awful pain with nothing to do but think and pray...it has all made me long for more of God. I want to pray more, to love God more fully, to seek Him with all that I am, rather than just part. I guess I was feeling pretty satisfied in my spiritual life. Things weren't great, but they weren't bad. I was settling for status quo. But I want more now. I think of the spiritual life like a huge ocean...the depths of intimacy with God go so much deeper than we can even measure. Yet how many of us settle for a puddle's worth of God when there is an ocean available? I want the ocean. I am not settling for less any more.