Heaven, Life, and Leaving a Legacy

Watching the news yesterday, there was a lot about Gerald Ford. The interim pastor serving at Ford’s Episcopal Church, in California, spoke about the former president--talking about what a great man Ford was. The pastor went on to say: “If anyone deserves to be in Heaven, it’s Gerald Ford”. I found that comment unsettling. I don’t deny that Ford was a good man. The part I take offense to is that anyone would “deserve” heaven. If any of us were worthy to be fully in God’s presence, there would be no need for Jesus to die in our place or rise again to conquer sin and death. Scripture makes it pretty clear that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). The only thing that can possibly save us from ourselves is God’s gracious salvation given to us in and through Jesus Christ. I try not to make claims about where specific people will spend eternity, since I am not God. One thing I do know with certainty, however, is that God cares greatly about how we relate to Jesus Christ. I think, in the end, the question that God asks us will not be: “What good things did you do in your life?” The question God will ask is something like: “What did you do with my Son?”

Ephesians 2 (New Living Translation) speaks to this: “God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

My upset with the comment about Gerald Ford and Heaven stems from the proximity of death to my mind and heart recently. It is hard to miss all the death on the news, with Gerald Ford, James Brown, and Sadam Hussein, just to name a few. Plus, with my grandma dying recently, death is sitting heavily on my consciousness. It makes me think about the purpose of life. If I had to sum up the purpose of it all, I would say it is about loving God and loving others. As Amy Grant said in a song, long ago, “We’re just here to learn to love Him. We’ll be home in just a little while”.

I think it is important to live our lives with the end in mind. Really, in the grand scheme of things, we are here for such a short time. All the things we chase after: money, success, approval, beauty, youth, etc…what do those things really matter? I had a conversation, recently, with someone who thinks making money is what it is all about. That seems so sad to me…because, as we all know, you can’t take it with you.

I hope, at the end of my life, I will have lived for something more than myself and my wants. I hope that my life touches other people and makes their lives better…maybe even makes the world better. I want to leave a legacy… which, I think, is what we all hope for at the end of our lives. There is a song, by Nichole Nordeman, that talks about leaving a legacy of grace—a life that points others toward the love of God. I post this video (below) for you…because this is the song of my heart these past few days. Really, it is a prayer…a prayer for a significant life that makes a difference. I pray this for myself, and for all of you. May we, truly, leave a legacy.

Nichole Nordeman
“Legacy”

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

Chorus:
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such, will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

Chorus:
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Nichole Nordeman - Legacy

It's true, Nichole Nordeman is my favorite Christian artist. Her voice is angelic and her lyrics have actual depth. I pray that this song will speak to you as it has spoken to me.

Memories

My apologies, readers, for these past few days of silence. Our family experienced a tragedy this Christmas. My grandmother, Melba (see blog about “The Importance of Memory”) passed away on Christmas Eve afternoon. Her death, at any time, would not have been unexpected…but somehow, it seemed like a surprise. Over the past few days, I find my thoughts continually returning to my grandmother and her death. It is especially haunting during quieter times: like when you are trying to fall asleep, but just end up lying there because sleep won’t come…and there is nothing to do but think.

My grandparents took an extra interest in my life and activities. Because my parents were divorced when I was really young, Grandpa and Grandma Ehrnschwender tried to make up for my dad not being a daily part of my life. They also tried to help mom, because she was the only one of their seven children who was “going it alone”. I don’t remember any first day of school where Grandma was absent. In the early years, she would walk me to and from school for the whole first week. Even during years when we lived far from Ohio, my grandparents would come visit regularly—and were always there for anything remotely significant (like new school years and mom’s hectic seasons at work).

When I was in the sixth grade, mom and I moved back to Findlay, OH…just a few houses down the street from Grandpa and Grandma. I saw them every day of my life from that point onward—during the ordinary times, as well as the extraordinary ones. In those years, my grandparents became like another set of parents to me. They loved me and spoiled me, but they also scolded me and encouraged me to be a better version of myself. They were especially protective of my mother and equally condemning of my “teenage attitude” phase. I cannot recount how many times I heard things like, “You need to be nicer to your mother”, “Your mother works so hard; you need to help her out more around the house”, “Be respectful to your mother”, etc. (Note for mom: I know they drove you crazy and probably overstepped their bounds by giving you advice more often than they should have, but they always had your back! Always!)

There was never a concert or performance that my grandparents missed. When I got dressed up for dances and special events, they took pictures beforehand and smiled proudly. Grandpa always told me that I “sure do clean up well”. Grandma would say I looked “just like an angel”. Somehow, I never questioned their pride—or their faith--in me. It beamed across their faces. People 3,000 miles away could see how much they loved me. There are days where I may question my worth or significance, but there is no doubting that I have been deeply loved.

My most poignant memory of love, in fact, is a memory that I have of my Grandma. She taught me the reality of sacrificial love. My disclaimer is this: there have been many people, throughout my life, who have loved me deeply and sacrificially, but this memory is my first awareness of “selfless love”. This is the memory which keeps coming back to me, especially in the quiet, sleepless hours.

When I was 12 or 13, my other grandma (Luella “Luby” Dietsch) passed away. I had just spent several days at Grandpa and Grandma Dietsch's house (a few miles across town), visiting and having "grandparent bonding time". They dropped me off at my house, after taking me out to lunch. Not three hours after they dropped me off, Grandpa Dietsch called me and told me that Grandma had died. It was the summer and my mom was at work. I guess Grandpa was in shock and didn’t think about the fact that I was a young girl, all by myself…and that the news would be overwhelming to me.

I’m not sure I even shut the door on my way out, I just remember running…running to my grandparents house, with tears streaming down my face--not even able to see because my eyes were so wet and blurry. I couldn’t think of anything besides getting to my grandma. Grandma and Grandpa Ehrnschwender were sitting out on their front porch, as they often did. I ran up the porch steps, fell down on my knees in front of my grandma, buried my face in her lap, and sobbed. In between sobs, I found a way to tell her what had happened. I remember Grandma saying to me, “Oh baby, if I could take your pain myself, I would do it in a heartbeat”.

The most striking thing about that day was looking up at my grandma after she declared she would gladly take my pain. I looked into her eyes and realized that she truly meant what she had said. If we'd had access to some cosmic USB cord that could transfer emotion from one soul to another, my Grandma would have taken my pain into herself. Being that I was a preteen at the time, my whole life was about me. I couldn’t fathom selfless, sacrificial love at that point in my life. Looking in my grandma’s eyes that day, I thought: “She means it. She would really bear all of this pain for me”. It was the first time I remember being aware of a deeper kind of love—a love that gives without thought of the cost.

That penultimate moment of realization has paved the way for deeper understandings of love and sacrifice. Yet, the first time I could get my mind around that kind of love, it was kneeling at the feet of my grandma. I won’t forget the look of love in her eyes that day. That is how I remember my grandma. That is what I think about most in these days since her death.

Message for Aunt Mary

I am, even as you read this, working on a more in-depth blog (to be posted this very night)...but in the meantime, I need to leave an important message for my Aunt Mary (a frequent "lurker" on this site). For everyone else, this will be a meaningless, cryptic post. For my aunt, it will be loaded with meaning. I submit these pictures to you for your approval, Aunt Mary. I await a comment...come out of your lurking shadows and let me know what you think.

Track Santa

Check out this cute site, where you can actually track Santa's path, as he delivers presents all around the world: http://www.noradsanta.org/en/default.php

The FULL Reason for the Season

You hear everywhere that “Jesus is the reason for the season”. While that is true, I think it is important to remember the BABY Jesus is not the end of the story. We are talking about the Most High God, come to earth, to bear our flesh and walk our roads. Then He dies and carries our sin and shame…rises from the grave…conquers evil, death, and oppression…offers new life to any who will receive it. People who feel far from God—far from themselves, far from others—are brought near by the God who refuses to remain at a distance. We have a God who is not content to be “watching us from a distance” (I REALLY dislike that song--but that will be the subject of another blog). This God has entered into our situation—but more than that—He offers a way out…a better way…true, real LIFE. I love that phrase from the Bible which says, “The people who walked in the darkness have seen a great light”. That GREAT LIGHT is Jesus Himself…who sends the darkness running in fear.

With those thoughts in mind, I want to share two songs with you, my blog friends. These are a little more serious than the video with the camels in sneakers! I just came across these songs, never having heard them before. The first one is called “It's About the Cross" by the band Go Fish (www.gofishguys.com). I can’t find the lyrics anywhere…but listen to it; it’s good stuff.

The second song is called “While You Were Sleeping” by Casting Crowns (lyrics below). I found it pretty convicting. I pray for all of us that we won’t be sleeping as God moves in our midst.

"While You Were Sleeping"
By Casting Crowns

Oh little town of Bethlehem
Looks like another silent night
Above your deep and dreamless sleep
A giant star lights up the sky
And while you're lying in the dark
There shines an everlasting light
For the King has left His throne
And is sleeping in a manger tonight

Oh Bethlehem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
For God became a man
And stepped into your world today
Oh Bethlehem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

Oh little town of Jerusalem
Looks like another silent night
The Father gave His only Son
The Way, the Truth, the Life had came
But there was no room for Him in the world He came to save

Jerusalem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
The Savior of the world is dying on your cross today
Jerusalem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

United States of America
Looks like another silent night
As we're sung to sleep by philosophies
That save the trees and kill the children
And while we're lying in the dark
There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky
For the Bridegroom has returned
And has carried His bride away in the night

America, what will we miss while we are sleeping
Will Jesus come again
And leave us slumbering where we lay
America, will we go down in history
As a nation with no room for its King
Will we be sleeping
Will we be sleeping

It's About the Cross

While You Were Sleeping - Casting Crowns

Three Random Thoughts by Tina

First Random Thought:

Anyone who owns a TV has probably heard about the Rosie O’Donnell/Donald Trump “feud”. In case you haven’t heard, I am going to share a little summary…but first, my opinions.

As far as Rosie is concerned, people know that she just talks off the top of her head, says obnoxious things, and tries to be shocking…that is part of the allure of “The View”. I personally feel that, as talented as Rosie is, she could find a way to be funny without mocking other people. There is no need to defame others—no matter how deserving of defamation they may be.

As for Donald Trump, is he still three years old? Seriously, weren’t we all taught that “two wrongs don’t make a right”? Just because someone says something mean about you does not give you the right to respond in kind. This “feud” is nothing more than a couple of emotional toddlers name-calling one another. I taught 1st grade Sunday school for a few years; those kids were more mature. Tina says to Rosie and Donald: GROW UP ALREADY!

Here is a summary of the aforementioned feud (taken from the Associated Press), in case you have no idea what I am talking about:
“Things got even uglier Thursday in the bitter war of words between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. The Donald called the Los Angeles-based morning show "Good Day L.A." to sound off on O'Donnell's remarks about his near-firing of Miss USA Tara Conner.
"Maybe she wanted to put the crown back on Miss USA's head," the real-estate mogul said of the openly gay O'Donnell, who has four children with her partner, Kelli. "I think she's very attracted to Miss USA so she probably wanted to put the crown on her head herself."
Insult No. 2: "She is a very, very unattractive woman who really is a bully."
Insult No. 3: "Ultimately, Rosie is a loser, and ultimately ("The View") will fail because of Rosie. ... Barbara (Walters) made a mistake and let me tell you something, Barbara's a good friend of mine. She cannot stand Rosie O'Donnell."
It all started when O'Donnell, co-host of the ABC morning talk show "The View," blasted Trump on Wednesday's show. She said Trump's news conference with Conner, whose title was in jeopardy because of underage drinking, had annoyed her "on a multitude of levels" and that the twice-divorced Donald had no right to be a "moral compass" for the beauty queen.
"He inherited a lot of money," she said. "Wait a minute, and he's been bankrupt so many times where he didn't have to pay. ... I just think that this man is sort of like one of those, you know, snake oil salesmen in 'Little House on the Prairie.'"
Trump fired back later Wednesday in a TV interview, calling O'Donnell a "slob," among other insults. "I never went bankrupt, but she said I went bankrupt. So probably I'll sue her because it would be fun.
An amused O'Donnell talked about Trump's comments with her co-hosts on Thursday's edition of "The View." "Wasn't that a fun night of viewing? ... Look who's here today: Kelli. I was afraid to leave her home in case somebody with a comb-over came and stole her from me," she said.
In an entry posted Wednesday night on her Web site, O'Donnell duplicated an excerpt on Trump's rocky financial history from his biography on the online encyclopedia Wikipedia, which is written by users.
She wrote: "i will let you know if the donald sues me/or if kelli leaves me for one of his pals/don't u find him charming."”

Second Random Thought:

I went to the Cracker Barrel for dinner the other night with a good friend of mine. Being that I am trying to live a vegetarian lifestyle, I thought I would go with the “vegetable plate”. First, when I asked what the “vegetable of the day” was, I was told, “red-skinned potatoes”. Since when do potatoes count as a vegetable of the day? I know, I know, technically, potatoes are vegetables. I get that. But, when I think of a vegetable of the day, I think of something, I don’t know, GREEN!

Then, trying to get a little protein, I ordered the pinto beans as one of my choices for the “vegetable plate”. I also ordered some “greens”. Both of these items came with massive amounts of pork in them. I know that the cracker barrel is not meant to be a haven for vegetable eaters…but, seriously, what is so wrong with just a plain old vegetable? Does there need to be meat in everything? Pretty soon there will be meat cookies!

I do have to give a shout out to the Cracker Barrel, though, in that their dumplings are the most beautiful piece of food this side of heaven! I would pick all kinds of meat out of my food if it means I get to eat those dumplins!

Third Random Thought:
I love Christmas hymns. The words are so incredibly deep. It saddens me that most people only know the first verse of most of these songs. I especially love the words to “We Three Kings”. In fact, I think it is my favorite Christmas song (really, an “Epiphany” song). It tells the whole story…not just that a baby was born, but who that baby was and what He came to do. Take a good look at these words:

We three kings of Orient are;
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder star.
Refrain:
O star of wonder, star of light,
Star with royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect light.
Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain
Gold I bring to crown Him again,
King forever, ceasing never,
Over us all to reign.
Refrain
Frankincense to offer have I;
Incense owns a Deity nigh;
Prayer and praising, voices raising,
Worshipping God on high.
Refrain
(Tina’s favorite verse)
Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes a life of gathering gloom;
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying,
Sealed in the stone cold tomb.
Refrain
Glorious now behold Him arise;
King and God and sacrifice;
Alleluia, Alleluia,
Sounds through the earth and skies.
Refrain

I am posting (below) the CUTEST version of this song I have ever seen. You will love it, especially the camels. I thought I would throw in “Joy to the World”, from the same Christmas special, as well. Keep in mind, these are all done through Claymation. They are amazing!

We Three Kings

This is fabulous. I love it! Though they changed my favorite verse, I still like it...how can you dislike camels in sneakers?

Joy to the World

This is really neat!

Funniest Christmas Commercial

Those of you who have a dog--or who have spent any time around a dog--will find this especially amusing.

Family Surival Kit for Christmas

This is an actual video from a church in Las Vegas (www.centralchristian.com). It is really cute...and who can't relate to the situations they parody?! I only wish it were an actual product!!!

1 Corinthians 13: A Christmas Version

Normally, I am not the biggest fan of the email “forward”, but on occasion, I come across one that I really like. So it is with the one I've decided to share with you tonight. I hope you enjoy it and that your Christmas is truly filled with love!

1 Corinthians 13: A Christmas Version
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.
THE END.

And now, for those of you who like to compare and contrast, here is the real version of 1 Corinthians 13 (although, it is from THE MESSAZGE paraphrase of the Bible).

1 Corinthians 13
The Way of Love
1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Think!

Tonight, I wanted to share something that greatly surprises me. You will see two different videos below. The top one is a brief overview of a Christmas display in Wellington, OH. The second video is a little more in depth, showcasing the artist of the display and his understanding of his work. Both the videos are pretty short and, I thought, very interesting (albeit disconcerting).

The display that is being discussed is entitled “The Secret Lives of Gingerbread Men”…where a bunch of little gingerbread men are dressed up like Nazi’s, complete with swastikas and “Heil Hitler” hand motions. Obviously, this “artwork” has upset a lot of people, and for all I know, may have been taken down already.

The thing that I find surprising is the artist’s complete clueless-ness. He is genuinely shocked that anyone would be upset by the display. It never dawned on him that someone might take offense to this artwork. I mean, seriously, how can he find that surprising? First of all, we are talking about mid-western, family values, “heart of it all” Ohio…it’s not New York City or California, for goodness sake! Plus, call me crazy, but don't people generally associate swastikas and Nazis with something very bad? They certainly don’t think of them as a Christmas symbol.

The companion display to the mini-Nazi’s was still in progress at the time of the interview. This display involved a snowman attempting suicide--using a 50s style hair-dryer--because his gay lover “outed” him in a “tell all” book. Truly, this is just as disturbing as the gingerbread Nazis!

I am all for free speech…but what happened to considering the implications of your actions before you act? If the artist had a point to his art and was really trying to say something—if he had thought through the consequences and decided the message was worth the criticism he would receive—then I would be less offended. I am sincerely bothered by the artist’s obliviousness to the impact of his art—and his willingness to be offensive for no apparent artistic purpose (other than he “thinks they’re cute”). This seems symptomatic of the world we live in; there is the inherent message that we can do whatever we want just because we want to do it. The truth is, however, that actions do have consequences…stupidity and insensitivity still upsets and offends people, no matter how much we pretend that “anything goes”.

All I really have to say about this is: “Think!” If people would just think before they do things, wouldn’t the world be a better place?

The importance of memory

My grandma had a birthday yesterday. That’s right, Melba Leola Ehrnschwender (seriously, that’s her name) celebrated her 86th year of life. The last few years have not been especially kind to my grandma, physically or mentally. At this point, the non-lucid moments greatly outnumber the lucid ones. Just a small vignette to illustrate:

Grandma said, “Bush passed me in the hallway and didn’t even say ‘hi’”.
“Do you mean President Bush, Grandma?”
“Yes”
“Well, I’ve heard he’s like that,” I responded.
Then we were on to the next nonsensical topic.

When my Aunt Debbie visited recently, Grandma didn’t know who she was. My mom and I decided to meet at the nursing home yesterday, not knowing if we’d be remembered or not. Mom tried to get out of the meeting after we heard Aunt Debbie’s report, wondering if we could put it off until after Christmas. It is rather depressing at the holiday season to be forgotten by your own mother, so I understood her hesitation…but I twisted her arm and we went ahead with the plan. I prayed the whole way from Columbus to Findlay that it would be a good visit--that Grandma would know who we were. I said to God, “Even if Grandma doesn’t remember me, please let her remember mom”. Well, it was a good and blessed visit, because Grandam did know us—both of us. Grandma knowing who we were was about the only thing that made any sense during our visit. The rest of our conversation was pretty illogical, albeit amusing. I always enjoyed bantering back and forth with my Grandma. Now the banter doesn’t follow any logical patter, but at least we can still laugh together. And, when you are forced to watch someone you dearly love deteriorate before your eyes, you need a little laughter every now and then.

My great friend, Alicia, wrote a paper in seminary comparing Israel’s forgetfulness to Alzheimer’s…kind of a spiritual forgetfulness. The main difference between actual Alzheimer’s and Israel’s forgetfulness, though, is intentionality. The former looses memory through no fault of their own, the latter intentionally chose to do their own thing and forget God’s goodness. Watching my Grandma, and her inability to remember significant events and relationships, reminds me of Alicia’s paper…and the many discussions we all had as roommates about the topic. The main sentiment which came back to me was: no matter how much Israel forgot about God, God never forgot about them. God always remained faithful to what He promised them…no matter how much the people forgot (or ignored) Him.

In my relationship with grandma, I now find myself in an interesting position…being the one who remembers what the other has forgotten. There are many relationships in life—in different seasons or stages—where the burden of memory keeping falls on one person, when the relationship becomes one-sided. When you love someone deeply, there may be a time when you are called to remember that love for both of you. So it is with my grandma now. Grandma loved me so incredibly well, for such a long time, that it doesn’t seem like such a burden to remember on her behalf. I have memory enough for the both of us. She may not remember much, but I will not forget her…and maybe that is what true love is really like. I know that’s what God’s love is like.

God has a love for us that is not dependent on our memories. I often feel that I need to earn God’s love—that if I just do enough (if I am just “good” enough), somehow He might love me more…or, at the very least, I might feel worthy of the love He continually lavishes upon me. That’s not really how it works, though. My faltering, flawed love for my Grandma reminds me that when you love someone deeply enough, your love is not dependent on that person’s response. Your love is simply an unchangeable reality. While God longs for our response to Him (in a much more significant way than even the longing of a child to be remembered by her parent), God's love is not dependent on our response. Somehow, God’s love is high, wide, deep, and long enough to carry us through our seasons of forgetfulness. “We love because He first loved us”. We remember God because He never forgets us.

One of my favorite songs talks about this great love that God has for us. I wish I could find it on video or that I knew how to upload a song onto my blog. Since I cannot share the actual song with you, I want to at least share the lyrics. It reminds me that no matter what happens, God will remember me…that no matter how cold my heart may be in certain seasons, God’s love for me remains constant. Most of all, if the day comes when I find myself in a similar state as my grandma—unable to remember the most significant people and times of my life—I know that God will not forget me. That gives me great comfort…and the ability to face my unknown future unafraid. May you experience the constant, unforgetting, unforgettable love of God in Jesus Christ.

“You Cannot Lose My Love” by Sara Groves

You will lose your baby teeth.
At times, you'll lose your faith in me.
You will lose a lot of things,
But you cannot lose my love.

You may lose your appetite,
Your guiding sense of wrong and right.
You may lose your will to fight,
But you cannot lose my love.

You will lose your confidence.
In times of trial, your common sense.
You may lose your innocence,
But you cannot lose my love.

Many things can be misplaced;
Your very memories be erased.
No matter what the time or space,
You cannot lose my love.
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose my love.

Truthiness

Hello my blog friends. This has been a busy weekend, but I promise to be back in the blogging saddle by Monday night. For now, enjoy this little vignette describing the Miriam Webster "Word of the Year" for 2006, as defined by Stephen Colbert.

Usury

On a trip to the post office today, I saw an unusual sight. For some reason, I noticed there were an awful lot of payroll advance businesses. I decided to count them. In the 1.8 miles from my home to the post office, I counted 7 such places. Seven…in less than two miles!

Some of you may be wondering what kind of place I have chosen to live. Technically, I live in Columbus, but just on the outskirts of Reynoldsburg, OH. I was driving in toward the Reynoldsburg Post Office when I noticed all of this craziness.

To give you an understanding of what Reynoldsburg is like, let me share this fact: on the news recently, they reported that drug dealers were moving out of inner city Columbus and into the suburbs like Reynoldsburg and Pickerington (Reynoldsburg’s neighboring town) because they don’t want their children to be raised in such a seedy environment. I guess those family-oriented drug dealers now commute to work!

At any rate, I don’t exactly live in “the ghetto”, so I would assume there are places which have much higher instances of payroll advance businesses than where I live. I understand there may be need for a payroll advance once in a while. Unexpected things happen. Emergencies occur. But, how on earth can a 1.8 mile section of land support 7 such places? In my ignorance, I thought those businesses were places where someone went occasionally, in dire circumstances. Instead—based on the sheer number of such places--there have to be multitudes of people for which this is a lifestyle.

Now, I know some people might blame that kind of lifestyle on the poor choices of people who get themselves into such binds…and I am sure choices are partly to blame. Yet, we have to be honest and admit that the people who are most in need (the ones really trying to make a difference in their lives but just not able to “scrape by”), are the ones who most often get taken advantage of. Some of these payroll advance places charge 30% interest (or higher). While I don’t know this for sure, my assumption is that people go to take out a loan for legitimate reasons, and then cannot afford to pay it back (especially with that ridiculous amount of interest)…so they take out another loan to pay for the last one, and it becomes a vicious cycle. Certainly, we can blame that on choices…but then again, desperation is not the best state to be in when making life decisions.

As a Christian, this especially breaks my heart. I read about the Church in Acts 2 and I think we are missing something as a Church today. I am not talking about throwing money out the window at people. I am taking about making a difference in the unequal distribution of wealth in our world. Sure, this is a free country, but I don’t really believe that anyone can make a financial success out of their life if they just try harder. That myth is perpetuated by people like me, who had the privileges of a good upbringing, a wonderful education, and a solid, faith-based, moral under girding.

The Church needs to step up and be the Church, not just to give handouts, but to help people experience and live lives of freedom…not lives of tyranny and debt. There has to be a way we can work together to help people live these lives—lives that are not bogged down in desperation. Wouldn’t it be a great world if we could eradicate such payroll advance places…even more than that, if we could eradicate the need for such places?

I don’t know how to do that, but I think the answer to most questions about “what to do” is: the Church…the hands, feet, voice, and heart of Jesus Christ here on the earth. So Church, what are we gonna do about this?

Confessions of a non-political Tina

I make these disclaimers before I begin:
1) My major source of national news and political insight comes from Stephen Colbert of “The Colbert Report” (who, incidentally, is the funniest person in the world…just my opinion)
2) At a large church function for pastors, halfway through a lecture, I leaned over to the person sitting next to me and said, “So, who is this guy talking to us?” Turns out it was a district superintendent (note: In the United Methodist Church, not knowing the district superintendents in your conference is like not knowing the state capitals)!

Presently, I am procrastinating filling out a “voter guide information sheet” (due tomorrow). This form is necessary if you are interested in being a delegate to General Conference (the United Methodist Church’s “main event”, which happens every 4 years).

I first received this aforementioned “voter guide” in the mail a couple of months ago. I opened it up, laughed, and threw it away. You see, there is not an ounce of politician in my blood. First, I too quickly and easily say what I think. Politically correct? Not me! The nature of church politics is not that different than the nature of politics in general. There is a lot of campaigning, labeling (“Bible-blinded conservatives” or “bleeding soul liberals”), and appearance management that happens. There is no part of me that desires participation in such superficiality. You see, I may be an idealistic optimist, but there is a cynical side to me as well. I grew up in the United Methodist Church (heck, I grew up in America!); I know how these political things go!

However, that pesky Holy Spirit seems to have a different take on things than I do. Having been approached by several people (people I respect and admire), asking me to consider putting my name on the ballot, I have had to rethink my hasty, earlier decision. In a perfect world, I would love to be a delegate to General Conference. I love my Church and have deep concerns about its future. I actually enjoy the parliamentary procedures and legislation that go on at General Conference (I know, I’m truly twisted). I feel that I could intelligently and prayerfully articulate my beliefs in a collegial way. Still, I am hesitant; I just don’t want to become one of those people who cares more about climbing some mythical ladder than she does about following God.

In fact, my PPRC (pastor parish relations committee) chairperson (a retired Air force Colonel) told me once: “Stick with me and I will turn you into a Bishop”. I said in response: “What have I done to you to make you say such a hateful thing?” No offense, Bishop Ough, but I wouldn't want your job for all the tea in China (exactly how much tea is there in China?). Really, I would be awful at the job, but that could be the subject of many other blogs!

I know people who start their ministerial careers hoping to become a district superintendent…and maybe, some day, bishop. They talk about that desire with anyone who will listen. Like hawks looking for prey, they keep their eyes on every pastoral move that happens. They like to discuss your average church attendance with you or talk about how much another pastor up the road is being paid. These people live to speculate about the “movers” and the “shakers” in the conference. It makes me want to vomit!

You see, I became a pastor because God dragged me into it kicking and screaming. Just kidding (in part!). I felt a gentle, disturbing, life-shifting call from God when I was 16 years old…and it changed the whole focus of my life. From that point on, my life became about following Jesus and serving Him with my whole heart, soul, strength, and mind…and with my career choice. It meant that I didn’t get to “call the shots” about where I went and what I did--Someone else is in charge of those things. I take John Wesley’s Covenant Prayer seriously and have tried to make it the motto of my life.

Wesley’s Covenant Prayer
I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee,
exalted for thee or brought low for thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things
to thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
let it be ratified in heaven. Amen.

For me, to aspire to anything other than holiness and a deeper love of Jesus is dangerous ground to walk upon. I want to run from whatever people or situations might take my eyes off of Him. That was why I decided to throw away my voter guide submission sheet in the first place. I didn't want to head down that political road, which so easily corrupts the soul and blinds one's vision. Yet, through little messages here and there, I sense that God might actually want me to go to General Conference (heaven help us all!). Or maybe God just wants me to learn how to be faithful to His call, regardless of what the results are. Either way, I am stepping out of my comfort zone tonight and filling out that crazy form! Who knows what God’s plans are for me...only God, I guess.

I’ve learned from this experience that I shouldn’t make hasty decisions, based on my preconceived ideas rather than on God’s leading. I should probably prayerfully reflect before I laugh and throw something important away. Sarah laughed too, when God told her His plan (for her to bear a son--in her old age—who would carry God’s promises through to future generations)…and look how that turned out. We celebrate how that turned out on Christmas!

I don’t know what God has up His sleeve, but I am willing to go along for the ride. Who knows, I may become the first non-political politician! God save us all!

A Tribute to Frank

I received word today that my friend, Frank Chamberlain, passed away this morning. Frank certainly touched my life—and his loss saddens me greatly.

Frank Chamberlain was the president and founding partner of a funeral home in Lima, OH (Chamberlain-Huckeriede Funeral Home)—as well as a member of Trinity UMC (where I was the associate pastor for 5 years). For some reason, Frank and I had an instant bond. He would call me to do funerals for people who had no pastor…and he always wanted me to sing. Without fail, every time I saw Frank he would tell me how much he “loved to hear me sing”. You can’t help but like someone as flattering as that! Really, though, I liked Frank because he listened to people, he cared about their needs, and he made you feel important when you were around him. Over the years, multitudes of people had the privilege of working with him during times of deep despair and crisis in their lives. Frank was, to them, more of a pastor than someone (like me) who came in to lead the actual service. So, today, I remember—with tears as well as smiles--my fellow minister, friend and follower of Jesus.

As I was preparing to leave Lima this summer--to pastor a church in the Columbus area--Frank threw me a “going away” lunch…right there in the funeral home…in a room where I had given many a sermon and sung many a song. I believe there are few people who can actually say they had a going away luncheon right in the middle of a funeral home viewing room! To say the spread that day was elaborate would be an understatement. The lunch Frank had for me was a metaphor for the way he did things: beautifully, with perfection and grace. Frank was a 100% kind of guy, who did things well and expected things to be well done by those around him. He made you want to be the best version of yourself. I know I am a better person for knowing him.

During that memorable and meaningful luncheon, I received many gifts, but the one I most treasure was one that Frank dreamed up all by himself. He presented it to me proudly and with his characteristic, “knowing” grin: my very own little purple urn, filled with “Lima dirt”…so that I could “take a little piece of Lima with me”. Now, I treasure that gift all the more, because it means I will always have a little piece of Frank with me, as well.

I hope, at the end of my life, I will have touched as many lives as Frank Chamberlain did. In the end, isn’t life all about loving God and loving others? Frank had that down pat! While I am saddened that this world has lost such a good man of great love, I know there is another world where a great big party is going on tonight. I rejoice with my friend, Frank, who is now where I most long to be: in the fullness of God’s presence. Heaven is lucky, but boy are we gonna miss you down here.

And now a poem that Frank heard me read so many times…and now it is true of him.

"A parable of Immortality"
by Henry Van Dyke

I am standing on the seashore. A ship at my side spreads his white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. He is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch until at last he hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says, "There, he is gone!"

"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight…that is all. He is just as large in mast and hull and spar as he was when he left my side and just as able to bear his load of living freight to the place of destination. His diminished size is in me, not in him.
And just at that moment when someone at my side says, "There he goes!" there are other eyes, watching him coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here he comes!"


In closing, I offer this beautiful song (below) in memory of my friend Frank. To us, this feels like the end…but we who follow Jesus know it is just the beginning. I know that you are now listening to the music of the angels, Frank...but this song (especially its words) has to come about as close we get in this world.

Song for Frank

Ten Things I Love About Christmastime

(Disclaimer: Jesus is what I love most about any time of the year, so I am not listing Him as part of the “ten things”. He transcends such lists, and my love for Him is bigger than any blog could reflect).

Ten Things I Love about Christmastime (not in any particular order)
1) Snow: Seriously, how can people live in places where the seasons don’t change? (no offense, dearest Texas friends). There is nothing more beautiful than fresh fallen snow… the way it sparkles and shines. I still love to examine different snowflakes, looking to prove that there are two alike (but there never are). My dogs love the snow. There is nothing cuter than watching dogs leap into the air to catch snowflakes on their tongues. Their complete lack of inhibition, when it comes to snow—really, when it comes to anything—is a delight. I, too, have been known to catch the occasional snowflake on my tongue…but only when no one else is outside (unlike my dogs, I have not mastered that “complete abandon” thing yet).
2) Decorations: I love Christmas decorations. While I have been known to rail against the commercialism and consumerism of our society, I admit that I feel compelled to walk down the Christmas aisles of every store. I cannot help myself. I detest how Christmas preparation has pretty much obliterated Thanksgiving. I think we need all the help we can get in learning to be thankful people, so it is not good to pass over such a holiday. Again, though, I am all talk, because I bought Christmas decorations way before Thanksgiving…and shamelessly, joyously walked up and down the Christmas aisles the minute they went up on display!
3) Children: Children are a delight at any time of year, but especially at Christmas. I love to see them dressed up as angels and animals and singing songs about Jesus. We have a little girl at our church named Hope. She has been really sick for a long time and, consequently, has never been in any kind of pageant or production. This year, she is an angel. She is so excited about being an angel that everyone in our town knows about it! She loves to tell people, “I’m going to be an angel at church”. What a delight she is (she’s an angel every day of the year in my book)! At a time of year when adults are overwhelmed by all that we have to get done and how busy we are, little children are filled with excitement and joy. I think of all we take for granted, and then I see the pure, genuine enthusiasm of a little Christmas angel…and then I know what Jesus meant when He said we need to “become like little children” before we will really get what He is about!
4) Christmas Music: They shouldn’t start playing it before Thanksgiving! But I LOVE it!!! This is the only time of year that we get to hear these beautiful songs. When else can you go to the mall and hear songs about Jesus? Easter has become all about that Bunny, so you never hear about Jesus then. But at Christmas, Santa has not yet stolen center stage…not in our songs, at least. I mean, the songs about Santa are fun, but they don’t touch peoples’ hearts the way the carols do. When I have gone caroling in nursing homes, it is amazing to me how even non-responsive people start to cry during “Silent Night”. Without fail, there is something in the Christmas story—and in the songs that tell about it—that touches our hearts in places where normal words cannot reach. Speaking of Christmas music, I highly recommend the new Christmas album by Sarah McLachlin. Her voice is so beautifully haunting (only rivaled in beauty by the voice of Alison Krauss). Normally, I just buy songs that I like off of iTunes, since it is rare that I like an entire CD (and why waste the money?). But this CD gets two thumbs up from the Tina, all the way through!
5) Church Attendance: People come out of the woodwork at Christmastime! I love how full the pews are during the season. I have a friend who calls these people the “Chreasters” (the Christmas and Easter people). I am just glad to see them a couple times of year, rather than never! As one who was raised going to church every Sunday (no matter how hard I tried to get out of it), I don’t really understand that seasonal attendance swelling. I mean, why--if church isn’t important to you at any other time of the year—is it important now? Is it the songs everywhere that make people think about Jesus? Is it such a family-oriented time that we just want to be connected to our families by going to church with them (or to make mom or grandma happy)? I don’t mean these comments to hurt anyone’s feelings. I sincerely wonder what it is that brings people to church at the holidays. Maybe it is different for every person—or maybe there are some common things that draw them in (would love to hear your comments about this!). Regardless of why, I am grateful to see the church full. I am grateful to have the opportunity to share who Jesus is, and why He came, with these wonderful people. Hopefully, something might spark their interest and make them want a relationship with Jesus that lasts all year long. That is my prayer!
6) Christmas Television: I love Christmas specials!!! I wait every year to watch the Peanuts, the Grinch, Rudolph, Frosty, and all the gang! I love Christmas movies: “It’s a Wonderful Life”, “The Christmas Story”, and “Christmas Vacation”. I especially love that film genre: the romantic Christmas comedy. The Hallmark channel, the ABC Family channel, and Lifetime have made this genre famous in recent years. There is something about Christmastime that makes you feel like anything can happen—as if the air is infused with some special kind of magic (not the kind of magic forbidden by Scripture, but the kind that makes people fall in love and laugh and go ice skating!). It does seem like the perfect time to fall in love. Since, currently, my own love life resembles the Sahara desert, I especially delight in these cheesy movies. If you saw what Christmas movies I have programmed on my DVR, you would realize how truly sappy I am! My mom watches them too, so I think it might be genetic!
7) The Christmas Tree: Christmas trees are the epitome of Christmas to me. I love my tree. The first thing I do in the morning is plug in the tree…and the last thing I do at night is unplug it! I love to sit in the evenings, with all my house lights turned off and just look at my shining tree and think about life and God (while, of course, cuddling with the two cutest dogs in the world!). I am not sure what the attraction is for me…but I wonder if it is tradition. I can remember having a tree since I was a little girl. I remember cuddling with my mom, on the couch, in a darkened room only lit by the tree, and playing, “Riddle-Diddle-I-Dee-Dee”—where you pick an ornament and try to describe it until the other person finds it (e.g. “Riddle-Diddle-I-Dee-Dee, I see something you don’t see…and it is green and sparkly with a feather”; “Is it that green partridge ornament at the top?”; “No, guess again”). The great thing about tradition is it reminds you that some things really do stay the same, no matter how much changes in life. The older I get, Christmas becomes a mixed time of joy and sadness. I love the meaning of Christmas, but I miss people who used to sit around a tree with me (like my grandparents). Somehow, when I look at my Christmas tree, it reminds of what it says in Hebrews 13:8: “Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today, and forever”. It is good to know that no matter what life brings, God is always good and He is always there. My tree reminds me of that!
8) Presents: Who doesn’t love presents? While I do like to get presents, I much prefer giving them. When I was young, I couldn’t wait to open those presents under the tree—to see what kind of loot I was going to get! Now, I am just as excited about present opening, but I am more excited to see people open the presents that I got for them. I try to pick out things that the people I love will really enjoy--things that will show them I know who they are and what they like. I take great delight in the process. In fact, I am so excited about the presents that I got for my three beautiful nieces that I can hardly contain myself!! Since I won’t be able to see them open their presents, I am tempted to ask my sister to videotape their reactions…or at least take a picture of them looking exited (hee hee). My mom used to tell me that it is “more blessed to give than receive” (she makes stuff like that up all the time!!). As a child, I couldn’t fathom that reality. How could it really be more exciting to give something than to get something? But, it’s true. Old age has proved it to me!!! Don’t tell my mom that she was right. It will go to her head!! (love you, mom!)
9) Candles: A pastor friend of mine says, “There is something about lighting candles that really gets to people. Light a candle, people cry”. It’s true! I am not sure why, but there is something very meaningful about turning out the lights and then watching a candle’s light slowly reclaim the darkened spaces. Christmas Eve would not truly be Christmas Eve for me without lighting some candles and singing “Silent Night”. Maybe this is another one of those tradition things! Or maybe it is the hope that a candle brings…something so small gives such a big light. The darkness of life is overwhelming at times, but one little candle lights a whole room. Perhaps that candle speaks to the frightened places in each of our hearts and reminds us to wait, to trust, to hope. Granted, I am sure all of this occurs at a subconscious level. But I think that God’s truth resonates within us, even when we can’t describe that it is happening. The eternal truth is that “the Light had shone in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it”!
10) “Mary, Did you Know?”: I adore this song! I know, I know...it has been grossly overplayed, but I still can’t get enough of it. I made my teenagers sing it one year for a church Christmas program and they complained the whole time. Of course, complaining seems to be the language of teenagers (even when they actually like something!). Mostly, they didn’t like the fact that I made them sing, period. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because of the particular song. I mean, who doesn’t love this song?!!! It makes me cry every time! But then again, I cry at various TV commercials, during Oprah, whenever I pray, etc. I found the following video the other day, which is set to the music of “Mary, Did You Know?” It is sort of a montage of what Jesus is all about, and I think it is really well done. I hope you like it! (see below)

Missing the Point?

Yesterday, I went with about 40-50 people from my church to a huge Christmas program at an area church. Apparently, it takes over 600 people to put on this production, which runs almost three hours for multiple performances throughout the Advent season. Now, before I get into my main thesis, I do want to clearly state that the program was beautiful, incredibly well-done, and had a great message. Plus, they had live camels…I mean, what kind of person doesn’t like to see the occasional camel? In fact, one of my youth group girls—upon seeing the camel—declared, “Camels are my new favorite animal”. We were, of course, far enough away to not be able to smell the aforementioned camels. I didn’t want to burst her bubble by telling her that camels are the foulest smelling creatures on earth!

In all honesty, I went into the afternoon, preparing myself, saying, “Don’t get sucked into all the glitz and glamour…whatever you do, don’t cry!” Well, that lasted about 10 minutes. I cried when Mary rode in on a donkey (a real donkey). I cried when the angels appeared to the shepherds (in fact, the angel part was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen…and I’ve seen a lot of cool things). I cried when Joseph held the baby Jesus high into the air for all to worship (reminiscent of The Lion King, where Mufasa lifts up baby Simba and all the animals bow down in reverence). I cried when the wise men entered in all their regalia…and then again, when they bowed down before that little baby. I cried when Jesus was on the cross, and below—on a separate part of the stage--Mary sat holding the baby Jesus (to show what that precious baby was born to do). Admittedly, I am a big sap, especially when it comes to Jesus.

All of that said, I have been reflecting on what a big production we make out of Christmas. I mean, seriously, you cannot go to the store (ANY store) this time of year without wanting to vomit up tinsel. I could ramble on an on about the commercialization of the holiday season…but we’ve all heard that before. What concerns me more, in a way, is how the church handles Christmas. I mean, seriously, if there is any story (true story, of course) that is perfect just as it is, it is the Christmas story. Why do we need smoke machines and huge orchestras and living Christmas trees to get the message out? Why do we feel the need to add all this hoopla to an already perfected message? Have we missed the point of what it is all about?

It seems that, over and again, when God chooses to reveal Himself, He does it in ways that confound us. We expect a great warrior, a king who enters with pomp and circumstance, a mighty one who will right all of our wrongs. Instead, God comes as a little, helpless baby…with no fanfare, no famous people, no credentials. When we’d expect God to overthrow oppressive governments, punish all our enemies, and be adored by the masses, He chooses to die a criminal’s death on the cross and offer forgiveness to the world (even the bad people…even the people we want Him to punish). God’s ways seem strange to our finite minds. Every time God shows up, He surprises us. It is always different than we expect.

While I have never personally been to the Holy Lands (though it is one of the things on my “Top Ten Things to do Before I Die” list), I have heard that all the “holy sites” have cathedrals built on top of them. So, the place Jesus was allegedly born is now gold-covered, incense-filled, and priest-guarded; the same is true of where Jesus died…and multitudes of other meaningful sites. It is not enough for us that God actually placed His feet in these places, we need to cover them in gold. I would much rather see it as it was, they way God choose for it to be, filled with simple, yet profound meaning. There is a message in the simplicity. I fear for us, as a church, because we don’t really want Jesus as He is. We want a 14K gold Jesus who is attractive to the world and draws in the masses. In reality, I am not sure there is such a Jesus. I’m of the mindset that if we just share the Story, people will be drawn to Jesus. Maybe people are so put-off by Christianity because we feel the need to add all of our “extras” on top.

For me, there is nothing that sums up the beauty and the simplicity of the Christmas story more than the “Peanuts Christmas Special”. While I love the Grinch, Frosty, Rudolph, and all the Misfit Toys, nothing compares to Linus, with his blanket, telling us the beautiful story of God’s love…without pretense or flair. I offer that scene to you as a Christmas gift. May the simplicity and unexpectedness of God overwhelm you!

p.s. to "Missing the Point?"

(I meant to post this at the end of today's blog, but don't really know how to move these videos where I want them. So, humor me and first read what I wrote, then watch the video. Also, if anyone knows how to help the technologically inept Tina with how to place these videos where you want them, please leave a comment or email me! Thanks!)

You are Good - Nicole Nordeman

This is a great song about gratitude and God's goodness...and sums up my current state of mind. Plus, I've just figured out how to post videos on my blog...so watch out!!

Disturb us, Lord

Today was the first day that I felt "normal" in a long season of struggling with pneumonia. Looking back on the past few weeks, I realize how rich and deep my life is--how evidence of God's grace shows up in even the most commonplace events. I take for granted how deeply blessed I am. The ability to go to worship and be with people who love God and love you...there is no greater joy in life. The ability to get out of bed, to breathe, to work and contribute something useful and meaningful to the world...who knew how much you could miss those things when they are taken away? I think of how many times I would be-moan my alarm going off, resenting some place I needed to be...what a gift it is to have somewhere to be!

Overall, I am beginning to see that God is at work ALL THE TIME...that nothing is lost, even during those seasons or times that seem, to us, pointless or wasted. My view of God and of life has enlarged lately. I wonder how much is happening all around me, really right before my eyes, that I take no notice of...because I am too busy trying to make things happen the way (and in the timeframe) I think they should be. I came across a prayer that really sums this up for me--a prayer about letting God truly be God and allowing God to challenge and change the status quo within us. I want to share this prayer with you, in the hopes that God will "disturb you" until you are exactly where and who God calls you to be.

Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little, when we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess, we have lost our thirst for the waters of life; having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity; and in our efforts to build a new Earth, we have allowed our vision of the New Heaven to dim. Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas where storms will show Your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push us into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love."

~Sir Francis Drake, explorer and naval pioneer during the Elizabethan era

The Twelve Days of Christmas

A couple years ago, I read somewhere that there might be a deeper meaning to the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. My research suggests this may be an urban legend, but there is no concrete proof either way. Regardless, I think anything that focuses on God at Christmastime is worth our attention. So I offer the following to you and pray you will find it interesting and perhaps, inspirational. Be blessed! ~Tina

"The popular song "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is usually seen as simply a nonsense song for children. However, some have suggested that it is a song of Christian instruction dating to the 16th century religious wars in England, with hidden references to the basic teachings of the Faith. They contend that it was a mnemonic device to teach the catechism to youngsters. The "true love" mentioned in the song is not an earthly suitor, but refers to God Himself. The "me" who receives the presents refers to every baptized person who is part of the Christian Faith. Each of the "days" represents some aspect of the Christian Faith that was important for children to learn.

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
A Partridge in a Pear Tree
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, whose birthday we celebrate on December 25, the first day of Christmas. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge that feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, recalling the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered you under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but you would not have it so . . . ." (Luke 13:34)

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Two Turtle Doves
The Old and New Testaments, which together bear witness to God's self-revelation in history and the creation of a people to tell the Story of God to the world.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Three French Hens
The Three Theological Virtues: 1) Faith, 2) Hope, and 3) Love (1 Corinthians 13:13)

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Four Calling Birds
The Four Gospels: 1) Matthew, 2) Mark, 3) Luke, and 4) John, which proclaim the Good News of God's reconciliation of the world to Himself in Jesus Christ.

On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Five Golden Rings
The first Five Books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah or the Pentateuch: 1) Genesis, 2) Exodus, 3) Leviticus, 4) Numbers, and 5) Deuteronomy, which gives the history of humanity's sinful failure and God's response of grace in the creation of a people to be a light to the world.

On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Six Geese A-laying
The six days of creation that confesses God as Creator and Sustainer of the world (Genesis 1).

On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Seven Swans A-swimming
The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: 1) prophecy, 2) ministry, 3) teaching, 4) exhortation, 5) giving, 6) leading, and 7) compassion (Romans 12:6-8; cf. 1 Corinthians 12:8-11)

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Eight Maids A-milking
The eight Beatitudes: 1) Blessed are the poor in spirit, 2) those who mourn, 3) the meek, 4) those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 5) the merciful, 6) the pure in heart, 7) the peacemakers, 8) those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake. (Matthew 5:3-10)

On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Nine Ladies Dancing
The nine Fruit of the Holy Spirit: 1) love, 2) joy, 3) peace, 4) patience, 5) kindness,
6) goodness, 7) faithfulness, 8) gentleness, and 9) self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Ten Lords A-leaping
The ten commandments: 1) You shall have no other gods before me; 2) Do not make an idol; 3) Do not take God's name in vain; 4) Remember the Sabbath Day; 5) Honor your father and mother; 6) Do not murder; 7) Do not commit adultery; 8) Do not steal; 9) Do not bear false witness; 10) Do not covet. (Exodus 20:1-17)

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Eleven Pipers Piping
The eleven Faithful Apostles: 1) Simon Peter, 2) Andrew, 3) James, 4) John, 5) Philip, 6) Bartholomew, 7) Matthew, 8) Thomas, 9) James bar Alphaeus, 10) Simon the Zealot, 11) Judas bar James. (Luke 6:14-16). The list does not include the twelfth disciple, Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus to the religious leaders and the Romans.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Twelve Drummers Drumming
The twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles' Creed: 1) I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. 2) I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. 3) He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. 4) He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell [the grave]. 5) On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. 6) He will come again to judge the living and the dead. 7) I believe in the Holy Spirit, 8) the holy catholic Church, 9) the communion of saints, 10) the forgiveness of sins, 11) the resurrection of the body, 12) and life everlasting."

(source: http://www.crivoice.org/cy12days.html)

Holy Moments

Have you ever had one of those moments that seems loaded with meaning? One of those moments where everything carries a special importance? I call those “soul moments” or “holy moments”. Recently, I had such a moment. Several weeks ago, I went back to visit my alma mater, Asbury Theological Seminary (disclaimer: for all my friends that live in KY that I didn’t see this time, I swear I was only there a very short time, for a specific purpose, and I will be back and visit with all of you, at length, soon!). Eating lunch in the cafeteria with one of my dearest friends, another friend joined us towards the end. The conversation suddenly turned authentic and raw—and focused on me. My two friends started to speak to me the words I needed desperately to hear, but didn’t know how to ask for. You see, in recent months I’d been going through a time of soul-searching, wondering if I was really effective as a pastor or a person—a season of doubts. Like all of us, I want to live a significant life, knowing that I am doing my best—knowing that my being on the earth has made some kind of difference. The conversation at lunch that day proved to be a turning point for me. My friends spoke words of encouragement directly to my soul, sharing examples of how my life and my preaching has truly made a difference in specific lives. Because of my deep respect and love for these two people, I actually believed them. I let their words soak into my heart as I trusted and treasured them. The unique thing about this situation is that I am very adept at diverting attention away from myself in conversations. When things get too personal, I can skillfully turn the conversation back toward the person I am talking with. Usually people don’t notice, as most people would much rather talk about themselves than anything else. However, those who know me best don’t let me get away with that and they call me on it, and make me listen. I needed to listen. I needed to hear a truth from others that I could not find on my own. As I sat there in the midst of that conversation, I was very aware of the holiness of that time, as we all talked with tears in our eyes. The thought crossed my mind in those very moments: “God is here. This is a holy moment”.

Reflecting on my recent holy moment has made me think about the nature of such moments. I am beginning to wonder if those kind of moments aren’t offered to us much more consistently that we realize. Maybe every moment has the potential to be a holy moment.

One of my favorite books is called “Abandonment to Divine Providence” by Jean Pierre de Caussade. He talks about the “sacrament of the present moment”. A sacrament, by definition, is a visible and outward symbol of an inward and invisible grace. For Caussade, this meant that each moment of our lives could be a way to encounter the grace of God. How does one encounter this grace in the moment? By abandoning himself to the will of God—by trusting that each and every moment is coming directly from God as a gift. Granted, that gift is often mysterious, incomprehensible, or even painful. Caussade’s argument was similar to the statement I once read: “Nothing comes to us that has not first passed through God’s Hands”. I realize the theological implications of this--that it begs the question, “Does God cause bad things to happen to us?” I cannot answer this. The only thing I can say is what Caussade would perhaps say: When we abandon all that we are to God, we learn to trust that He knows what He is doing in every situation, that nothing takes Him by surprise even though it might knock us off our feet, and that even the most dire circumstances can and will be touched by God’s resurrecting power, if we allow Him that access to our moments.

While I was still in seminary, I wanted to order another copy of Caussade’s book (this was, of course, before I had discovered the great joy of my life, amazon.com). I went with some friends to Joseph Beth Booksellers in Lexington, KY (it would be worth the drive to Lexington just to visit this magnificent store). I talked with the clerk---since, surprise, they did not have a copy of “Abandonment to Divine Providence” in stock. Interestingly enough, the clerk had actually read the book and we engaged in a lengthy conversation about its meaning. He made the statement that the book was “impractical for this day and age”. I took great offense to this (as some friends can attest to, because I ranted about it for days!). Really the clerk was just a doofus (I learned this technique of defending an argument from our American political system, where you win a debate through name calling, instead of truly addressing the issue at hand). In all seriousness, I believe his point was that the book came out of a simpler time, and was written by and to people who lived a monastic life (meaning they had lots of time to pray and reflect on God). I disagreed with him then and I disagree with him now. Times may have changed, but we humans have not. We still ask the same questions, wrestle with the same demons, and fear the same enemies. The thing that is most clearly the same is our desperate need for God. Faith has always been about learning to surrender our will to the will of God…and that has always been an extraordinarily difficult thing to do.

I share all this to remind us to look for the holiness of the present moment. I believe God is offering us each moment as a gift. If we paid more attention and kept our eyes open, we might not miss as many holy moments as we do. In fact, the holy moments might become the common moments of our lives, rather than the surprises. I wish for you all an avalanche of holy encounters with God in the midst of every day life, as we all learn to abandon ourselves to God.

Dog Pedagogy

These are pictures of my babies: Pepper (Cocker Spaniel) is in the witch hat. Ariel (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel) is the bunny (yes, I am one of those people who dresses her pets...but only on special occassions!!!). The other picture is Ariel sleeping...look at her little tongue hanging out. How cute is she?!!!

Some important life lessons that my dogs have taught me:

Don’t be afraid to be who you are:
Dogs don’t care how uncouth or inappropriate they are. They don’t pay attention to what others think about them. They do not change who they are based on a critic’s comments or opinions. If they want to sniff another dog’s butt, they do it no matter how disgusting it looks. When they relax, they stretch out their whole bodies, let their tongues hang out, snore and drool. They clean themselves while you try to eat dinner. Then they want to kiss you. In my house, if the dogs want to kiss you, they do it whether you want them to or not. True, dogs are not the best role model for boundaries, but we could learn from their freewheeling lack of inhibition. I find that I struggle with trying to please people. As a pastor, I have found that is an impossibility. You can do your best, and still someone will not like it or think you should have done it their way. That’s just life, I think. I always say that ministry would be a lot easier if it weren’t for all these people!! (but I do love these people!!!) Learning to just be who I am and make the best choices I can is a constant battle. No one wants people to be upset with them, but you can’t live your life trying to make everyone happy. You just have to be who you are. St. Irenaeus said, “The glory of God is a human being fully alive”. Perhaps we miss out on “fully alive” because we fail be fully ourselves. We could take lessons from the dogs. So, if you feel like sniffing some butts, sniff with vigor and who cares what people say (I do mean that in the most figurative of ways).

Love like you will never be hurt:
My dogs are completely indiscriminate about showing off their bellies. If you have hands for petting, they roll over to receive your affection. When we are on a walk, we must sniff every other dog we encounter, chase every squirrel we see, bark at every bird who dares cross our path, and force every child within two miles to play with us. I watch how free my dogs are with their love and affection, and think of how hard it is for me to be vulnerable or to open myself up to the world. The longer I live, it’s easier to be scared of getting hurt. The more you get hurt, the more determined you become to never get hurt again. Not my dogs. One of them, Ariel, has never known anything but absolute pampering. The worst hurt she has experienced is when I move and wake her up before she is finished with her nap. But Pepper, my cocker spaniel, is a rescue dog. I don’t know that much about her past, but I know she was ignored—perhaps even abused. She was dropped off at a high kill shelter and left to die. I got Pepper from a lady who rescues dogs from high kill shelters. Poor Pepper has been tossed around and neglected, and now she has to put up with little Ariel tormenting her on a daily basis. She would have reason to stop letting people close. Still, Pepper wags her little tail at any person who walks by. The neighborhood kids ring my doorbell on a regular basis to play with both dogs, but especially Pepper. Pepper runs up and down the street with them until the kids are ready to pass out and Pepper is just getting started. Dogs remind us of what we miss out on by being so guarded. They live in a world of no strangers. We might experience life more fully if we, too, were less afraid to share our soft underbellies with the world.

Forgiveness means really letting it go:
I’ll be honest and admit that my dogs have a mischievous side. They get into trouble. As evolved as I am, I sometimes yell at them. More than that, I sometimes step on them. That, of course, is accidental. But when two little furry things constantly follow on your heels, it is hard not to trip over them on occasion. The thing is, no matter what I do or say, they still love me. They want to be near me. I can scold one of them for being bad, and the next second, that dog is right there, begging to be petted, gazing at me with adoration, wanting to kiss me. Being human, I know how easy it is to hold grudges, to walk on eggshells around people who have hurt us. Not a dog. A dog doesn’t hold grudges. A dog is all about love. I have learned more about God’s forgiveness and unconditional love from my dogs than just about anything else. I tend to beat myself up for mistakes—and wonder how God can still love me when I mess up so much. But then I look at my dogs, and think I have gotten it all wrong…that I need to learn how to forgive and really let it go (not just in regard to other people, but also for myself). I realize that God is a dog in this analogy, but Jesus compares himself to a chicken in Scripture, so I think I am safe.

Loving God means adoring God:
My dogs think that I hung the moon in the sky. They watch me constantly. When I stand up, they stand up. When I go into another room, they go into another room. There is no thing they love more than to be in my presence. Nothing else—not even Snausages—comes close to comparing with me, at least in their world. If one of the dogs gets in trouble, they look devastated at my disapproval. The whole world stops until our relationship is made right again. It makes me think about Jesus, how He says that life is supposed to be about loving God first and loving others as we love ourselves. The more I think about it, I think God wants us to love Him like dogs love us. It isn’t about always being perfect or about acting holy. It is about a relationship with God, it is about making Him our absolute priority. I will be the first to admit that I don’t love God as well as my dogs love me. I do at times, in moments, but not constantly. I don’t always long to be near Him, to just be in His presence. I get busy; other priorities crowd in. When I have really failed myself—and God—the passion of my heart should be righting that relationship; it should be the goal of my life to let nothing crowd Him out of center. I want to love God the way my dogs love me. I want my whole life to center on His activity. When God is on the move, I want to go with Him…not just wait and play it safe, or check my calendar to see when I have time to schedule Him into the mix. My dogs’ greatest joy is my presence. I think we will only get this loving God thing right when our greatest joy is to be in His presence every moment of our lives.

Culture of Lies

I am most disheartened by the newest Pizza Hut commercial. Let me describe it: a man answers the door, gets his pizzas from the delivery guy and then--as soon as he closes the door--says, "Honey, the pizza guy made a mistake again and gave us three pizzas for the price of one"...or something like that. My outrage kept me from remembering the quote precisely. Why does this bother me, you may ask? The whole add is based on deception....stealing, really. The man in the commercial is rejoicing that he "pulled on over" on the delivery guy and got more pizza than he actually paid for. The thing that REALLY bothers me about this commercial is that a whole group of advertising executives had to sit around, at some point, and decide this was a great way to market a product. Then they "sold" it to the Pizza Hut corporation, who obviously liked this idea as a way to push more pizzas. Did no one, at any point, stop and think that immorality might not be the best message to convey to the buyer? I guess showcasing our culture's moral apathy is what sells these days. True, it would be boring to watch a commercial where a man stands at the door, talking to the delivery guy, and says something like: "Are you sure I have paid you enough money? I think I owe you some more." Then then delivery guy could answer: "No, we just have really great prices!" Instead, it is more exciting to glorify cheating.

Perhaps this would not bother me as much if I'd not had another encounter, recently, with our world of moral decline. A few months ago, I signed up for a website that said it was looking for "essay writers" on a variety of subjects. I filled out a lengthy application, complete with writing samples and was accepted as a "writer". Once I actually entered the site and looked at the "jobs" offered, I realized something was terribly wrong. I thought the site would contain jobs from lesser known publications, looking for fresh voices and insights. Instead, it was a glorified "pay someone to do your homework" site. The assignments--identified by numbers, not names--were obviously college level papers (some even graduate level papers). For example, I could have taken a job writing a 4-page paper on Hamlet's moral dilemmas. The pay for that particular paper was $10. Not only was I being asked to cheat for students, they wanted to pay me Third World wages for the effort. Students had actually uploaded their class notes in some cases, because the professors required reference to those notes in the assignment. The most ironic thing about the whole situation was the site's lengthy anti-plagiarism statement for its writers. Heaven help us if we would plagiarize someone's plagiarized paper!!! We would hate to be the cause of a student getting kicked out of school for cheating!!! I am not making this stuff up.

I wrote an email to the administrators of this website, sharing my distaste for what they are doing, and asking them to take my name out of their database. I heard nothing back. I did, however, recently receive a reminder e-mail from the site, telling me that I had not logged on in quite a while and they hoped I would come back soon. So much for writing a letter to change the world!!! Maybe I am alone in this, but I think that when a person receives a diploma, it should be because s/he actually worked for it and deserves it. I know, I am an idealist.

We seem to live in a world of compromise, where people make little allowances for cheating or lying. The majority of people would agree that major cover-ups (i.e. Enron and the like), embezzlement, adultery, etc. are bad things. But we are more lenient about little lies or smaller indiscretions. I maintain that if you start making small, tiny, (seemingly) insignificant compromises along the way, it is much easier to make bigger, more consequential compromises down the road. I get that from Jesus, who said that one who is faithful with little will be faithful with much. The reverse seems true as well: one who is unfaithful with little, will be unfaithful with much.

I recently "stole" two containers of hummus from Wal-mart. It was not intentional. They ended up under my purse and I didn't put them on the conveyor. I realized my treachery as I was putting my cart away, picked up my purse, and saw two un-bagged, un-purchased items. Because I was running late for something (the story of my life), I thought, "I will have to come back tomorrow". So, the next day I walked into the Wal-mart customer service department and confessed my grievous sin. The woman behind the counter was shocked that I came back. She told everyone else within earshot about the customer who came back to pay for merchandise. Apparently, it was a momentous occasion! They all responded with sentiments like: Really? You came back? What a nice surprise! This led me to believe it's quite a unique thing to come back and pay for something you accidentally stole. I am certain this has happened to other people. Maybe they didn't discover something hiding under a purse, but what about receiving too much change or realizing, after examining the receipt, that you weren't charged for an item? What a sad world we live in when people don't right their wrongs. I blame Pizza Hut!!!

This does not mean I am an exceptionally moral person. In fact, it is just the opposite. I feel within me the same tug that we all feel (if we are honest). I want to take the easy way out, to cut corners, to do what is fastest. It would be very easy for me to be the pizza guy who rejoices in his cheating. Who doesn't want something for nothing? That is our nature as humans. Yet, I have enough sense within me to fear the consequences of compromise. The world sees church leaders fall on a regular basis and it seemingly confirms their belief that "Christians are such hypocrites". I don't think Christians are hypocrites. I think Christians are human and capable of human frailties and faltering. When you start to make small compromises, it is easier to make the big ones later on. For me, returning to pay for my hummus was not an act of a "goody two-shoes" (as some of my family members call me). It was a desperate attempt to save my soul from a slipping, slopping road that I hope I never walk down.

I have a pastor friend who recently said--in discussion about the Ted Haggard scandal: "I want to live in community in such a way that I could not end up in that kind of situation without bold-faced lying...and even then, I hope I have been real enough with those around me that they would catch me, and call me on it, before I fall". We all are tempted to do what is fast, easy, and seemingly inconsequential. But little choices lead to bigger choices.

May we become honest people, moral people, people who choose to do right even when no one else is looking...otherwise, when the bigger storms come, we won't know how to make the right choices. So, if you get more pizza than you paid for, make sure to make up the difference! It may not mean that much right now, but your future will thank you for it.