I think we all struggle with certain issues. My roommates in seminary and I used to joke about some of the people we knew having "more issues than National Geographic". The truth is, we all have areas of brokenness and insecurity...places that need healing and renewal.
God has brought certain broken places in my soul to the surface lately. I once heard someone say that that Holy Spirit will make you aware of things when it is the right time to really deal with them--and will give you the strength to be able to fully address those things. So, when new realizations (really, epiphanies) come to me, I take those seriously...as if God is trying to get a message across to me.
The most recent revelation of God to me is that I need to let Him heal my heart. There are things I believe about myself that are not true, insecurities and fears that keep me from fully embracing God's best for my life. I call myself many names that are not true or right or good. God wants me to see myself as He sees me. There is a passage in Isaiah that speaks to me of changing what we say about ourselves to reflect the truth of what God says about us:
Isaiah 62:3-5
The Lord will hold you in his hand for all to see—
a splendid crown in the hand of God.
Never again will you be called “The Forsaken City”
or “The Desolate Land.”
Your new name will be “The City of God’s Delight”
and “The Bride of God,”
for the Lord delights in you
and will claim you as his bride.
Your children will commit themselves to you, O Jerusalem,
just as a young man commits himself to his bride.
Then God will rejoice over you
as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride.
For me, I feel God has brought certain wounds to the surface because it is time to find healing for those things. It is time to really live into my identity as a child of God, to truly see myself as a person who is loved and redeemed by the Creator of the Universe. I am not even sure how to do that exactly, but take great comfort in the fact that God knows the things I do not know. All I have to do is submit myself to Him and let Him do a work in my heart.
As I spent time in prayer today, talking with God about healing, a song kept coming back to me, specifically this line: "You are our Healer, and you know what's broken, and we're not a mystery to you". That brought me great comfort, knowing that the things which seem like a big, jumbled mess in my soul are not a mystery to God, and not beyond His healing. That line comes from a beautiful song by Watermark, called "Mended". I wish I could find the actual song to share, but I at least offer the lyrics as a source of encouragement:
"Mended" by Watermark
You repair all that we have torn apart
and You unveil a new beginning in our hearts
and we stand grateful for all that has been left behind and
All that goes before us
Chorus:
You've got all things suspended
All things connected
Nothing was forgotten
'Cause your love is perfect
You are our healer
And you know what's broken
And we're not a mystery to you
We will dance 'cause you restore the wasted years and
You will sing over all our coming fears and
We'll stand grateful for all that has been left behind
and all that goes before us
Chorus
Bridge:
Lord, you mend the breech
And you break every fetter
You give us your best, for what we thought was better
And you are to be praised
You are to be praised
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2 comments:
Tina,
Thank you again for the insightful "blogging" it makes me think. Isn't it funny how God always decides its time to go to work when you want to give up. I know God only wants the best for me and that he loves me. I've heard countless sermons on God's plan and his love but I sometimes wonder if happiness is involved in the equation. It has to be doesn't it? Maybe my idea of happiness doesn't match up with God's and if that's the case, which I'm sure it is, then I need to change. I think this will be done by letting God mold my hopes, dreams, and very definition of happiness.
I know that a lot of times I catch myself saying "If only I had/hadn't done this or If only I was this way" or I fall into the "what if" trap. None of that matters because GOD LOVES US. Those fears have no place in my life because as that song you posted says
"We will dance 'cause you restore the wasted years and
You will sing over all our coming fears"
Heal me God; I sure could use it (as I'm sure you know) haha...amen
I used to think that God did not care at all about our happiness...that He was only concerned with our holiness. Now, I wonder if the two are not flip-sides of the same coin. The fact that we universally long for happiness says to me that it is something we were created to experience. We, as human beings, however, are woefully inadequate when it comes to determining what will really make us happy. One of my favorite quotes by Augustine, from his Confessions, says, "I fell in love with beauty of a lower order". We love good things inordinately...which never leads to true happiness. I think we would know a greater happiness than any human experience provides if we could really, truly find a way to understand the love that God has for us. I am far from that place, but hope, someday, to have a better grasp of how completely and thoroughly loved I really am. The love of God contains healing. I pray for both of us (whomever "anonymous" happens to be) that we will experience His healing touch. I pray we will know that healing in even deeper ways than ever before.
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